Bad Dreams
by fananicfan
Summary: A short piece on one of the many ways things could have gone between Harm and Mac with the powers that be still having their way most of the time. Story takes place after 'The Four Percent Solution.' Originally written as a challenge for another site.


BAD DREAMS

DULLES INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

LAST FRIDAY OF FEBRUARY

LATE AFTERNOON

MAC'S POV

I sit, waiting for him to show up. Then I start to wonder if he _will_ show up.

I shift in my seat as I take a look at my surroundings. I let out a sigh. Taking into account the time and the lack of other passengers in the gate area, I know that I'm starting to worry too early. He has plenty of time to get here. I was just really early, that's all.

I came early because I want to go away with him so much that I didn't want to risk any unforeseen complication like a traffic jam that might cause me to miss the opportunity.

On second thought, maybe I wanted to get here early so I wouldn't chicken out. I haven't told him that I still have nightmares about Paraguay. Since I spoke with Dr. McCool in October, I can fall asleep, but the dreams wake me up.

When the bad dreams aren't too intense, I can get up and 'walk it off,' go back to bed and fall back to sleep.

I decide that perhaps it's better if I stretch my legs a bit instead of just sitting here, so I stand up to take a leisurely-paced stroll around.

I take note of the various food and gift shops, and browse through the two magazine shops located near the gate in order to fill the time.

Unfortunately, there aren't enough stores or concessions to keep me occupied for long and, sooner than I'd hoped, I find myself back in my seat, waiting for him. This time, though, I do have a soda and a soft pretzel to keep me company.

I pull off a piece of the pretzel while staring out the large windows. I take note that the plane at the next gate over has arrived while I was gone, but no plane is at our gate yet. 'There's still plenty of time for him to get here,' I think as I take a sip of my cola.

I pull off another piece of the still warm pretzel while thinking that he might not come at all, but not because he doesn't want to be with me, but because he's still in shock that I'd asked him to go away with me for the weekend on such short notice and out of the blue.

My mind drifts back to last Friday night. It had been a long week for both of us, so Harm had volunteered to cook dinner at his place where we could relax. We'd finished dinner, but we were comfortable where we were sitting, so we hadn't moved from the dining table.

I remember thinking that I could ease him into a conversation about his plans for the weekend, and then I could ask if he had plans for next weekend before asking him to go away with me. It was a good idea, but it didn't go as smoothly as I'd hoped.

******FLASHBACK******

"Harm ... " I start, shifting my weight nervously in my chair. "You mentioned going to see Mattie one weekend. It's this weekend, right?"

"Yes, that's another reason why I wanted to eat here. I can enjoy a nice dinner with my favorite dinner companion while we relax. I'll turn in early and head out early in the morning, driving back on Sunday."

"There's a snow storm in the forecast for Sunday." I realize that I sound like the prospect of him driving in the snow scares me to death. In a way, it does. I'm still a little jumpy after my car accident on Christmas Eve. Plus, I don't need to have another reason to have bad dreams.

"Then do you want to move to the couch and watch the weather channel with me to see if they've got any idea of when it'll be in the area on Sunday? That way, I'll know if I should come back tomorrow night instead," he says without the slightest hint that he's doing anything other than being sincere in trying to ease my mind.

"Do you have plans for next weekend?" I ask casually after we've sat down on his couch.

"No. Do you have any?"

Afraid that I'd lose my nerve, I blurt out my question, "Then will you go away with me?"

I scold myself for just blurting it out that way. There's no telling what he's thinking, and it's obvious from the way he just stares at me that I've caught him completely by surprise.

"Where are we going?" he finally answers.

"I've got two tickets to the Bahamas, leaving on Friday evening."

"So, we're sneaking off to the islands for the weekend?" he asks.

"I've reserved a room with two beds so you don't have to sleep with me." I feel the heat of embarrassment in my cheeks at the slip I've made. "I mean that you'd have your own bed," I explain before adding nervously, "I thought we could go away and talk."

"What do you want to talk about there that we can't talk about here?" he asks with an eyebrow raised in curiosity.

"We could probably talk about it here, but I think that it might be best to talk about this subject somewhere where no one knows us, some place neutral to both parties, some place where we won't be interrupted," I answer, not trying to be cryptic, but not wanting to shock his system twice in the same minute. I pause, knowing that he wants me to be specific. "We've been seeing each other since my car accident. I want to talk about us. You know ... what's next."

"When does our flight leave?" he asks with a half grin.

******END FLASHBACK******

I check my internal clock. I'm thinking that it's time that I decide if I want to go on this trip if he doesn't show up, when a woman's voice pulls me from my thoughts.

"Excuse me. Excuse me, ma'am."

I turn my head towards the voice. "Are you speaking to me?" I ask.

"Yes. I was wondering if you could move over a couple of seats so that my family could all sit together."

I look to my left and see that there are two seats free before I feel something brush against my knee. I look down and see that it's the hand of a toddler trying to keep his balance. "Well, hello there," I say to the little boy as I pick my bag up off the floor and start to move down, allowing this family to sit together.

"Thank you so much," the woman says to me as I reach my new seat.

"No problem," I say as I take in how crowded the gate area has become while I was daydreaming.

I start looking in the direction of the entry to see if Harm is coming my way yet. The first guy is too short, the next too heavy, the next ... "

"The man over there looks like he's looking for someone. Is he the man you're waiting for?" the young woman asks.

I take a look over her shoulder. "No. He's about the right height, but his hair is too long. The man I'm traveling with is Navy, so his hair doesn't hang over his ears."

"You keep looking that way. I'll look this way," the woman says, volunteering to help me scan the crowd.

We're not looking at each other, but she's talking to me. "Are you going to the islands for business or pleasure?"

"Pleasure, I hope. This will be our first weekend away together ... if he makes the flight." I don't know why I'm sharing this information with a complete stranger.

"A weekend getaway to the islands ... sounds romantic," she says with a sigh.

If she said more, I didn't hear it because I see the object of my affection making long strides in this direction. I pick up my bag before I stand and move towards him. "Harm," I say to get his attention. When he makes eye contact with me, I add, "I was beginning to think that you weren't going to make it."

I get close to him, and he slips an arm around me and says softly, "There were several snags in my getting away, but I'd have made it to the islands this weekend even if I'd had to swim the whole way."

"I hope you're not disappointed in how the weekend turns out," I say with a tinge of fear in my voice.

"How could I possibly be disappointed? I'm going to be with you," he says with a full-blown flyboy smile.

I wish I had the same confidence in the outcome of this weekend that he has.

"Maybe we shouldn't go ... " I begin before the airport sound system squeals, and a man's voice makes the first boarding call for our flight.

Harm looks horrified. "Mac, have you changed your mind or are you just having a case of nervous second thoughts?"

"On New Year's Eve when we were talking about dating, I told you that I didn't want to rush into anything, that I still had a few things that I needed to work through, like not being able to have a baby. You told me that you understood and that I was to set the pace. I appreciate that, but what about what you want?" I ask, struggling to explain that I don't want him to be disappointed if this weekend doesn't meet his expectations.

"Mac," he says softly as he tightens his grip on me. "I don't have any expectations for the weekend."

I let out the breath that I'd been holding, both in relief that he knows me so well that I don't have to explain further and because his tone was reassuring.

"Even if we spend the whole weekend just enjoying the sun and surf, it's time we'll spend together, just the two of us. And time spent with you is moving our relationship forward, and that's all I want - for us to continue to move forward. So, are you ready to get on that plane and forget about the two-ton caseload at the office and just be Harm and Mac for the weekend?" He asks.

With yet another example of his sweetness and patience since we decided to start dating, I'm overcome with emotion and can muster only a nod in response, but when the second boarding announcement is made a few moments later, I reach for Harm's hand and lead us towards the gate to board our flight, knowing for sure that I want to go away with him and hoping that being with him will keep the bad dreams away.

SANDCASTLE RESORT

ROOM 315

0120, SATURDAY MORNING

HARM'S POV

A repetitive, but strange noise, something between a whimper and a moan penetrates my sleep, causing me to wake to investigate the source of the odd sound.

I open my eyes and stare towards the ceiling, listening to see if I can pinpoint the direction of the noise that awakened me.

It takes less than a minute before I hear the sound again. It seems to be coming from Mac's side of the room.

I look over to Mac's bed and see that she's tossing and turning, and then I hear the sound again. She's the source of the noise.

I pull back my covers, get out of bed and move to her bed in one long stride. I sit down on the edge of the bed, noticing that the moonlight coming through the gap in the drawn drapes is causing the tiny beads of sweat on her forehead to glisten.

I don't know what she's dreaming about, but it's obviously a bad dream. I don't want to startle her, so I don't touch her.

"Mac," I say softly, but apparently too softly for her to hear me. "Mac," I say at a normal volume this time.

Her eyes open. A fraction of a second later, enough time for her to recognize that it's me, she sits up, throwing her arms around my neck.

"Harm," she says as her embrace on me tightens.

"Bad dream?" I ask as I slip my arms around her.

She nods affirmatively against my shoulder.

I'm concerned, but I've got a hunch that I've stumbled across the source of her odd behavior last week, so I decide to ask a few questions.

"You have bad dreams often?" Again, I get no verbal response, just the affirmative nod against my shoulder.

"These bad dreams ... are they why you got so upset when that storm was brewing outside last week and I suggested that you stay the night at my place, even though I said that I'd sleep on the couch?" I don't get a verbal response this time either, just another nod to confirm that I'm correct.

"When you asked me to come this weekend, you said something about being on neutral territory ... ."

She cuts me off. "I thought ... " she begins before pulling away enough to look at me, but she doesn't release her hold on me. " ... I thought that, getting away with you to some place with no reminders, I wouldn't have them."

"Are there different dreams or just the same one, over and over?" I ask.

"Different ones ... " she says softly, and I can see that her eyes are beginning to fill with tears. " ... but they all have Paraguay in common."

I look her directly in the eye. "Why didn't you tell me that you were reliving Paraguay in your sleep?"

"I'm not reliving what actually happened in every dream. Sometimes my mind takes the events and changes things around." She pauses. "Like, in one of them, you're killed when the plane crashes into the trees."

"But I didn't die. I'm right here."

She puts her head back on my shoulder and squeezes my neck tightly again. "I don't want to lose you," she whispers into my ear.

"You aren't going to. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."

We sit embracing each other for a few long moments before I break the silence. "We've got a date to run on the beach in a few hours, so let's get some sleep."

"I'll try," she says as she releases her hold on me.

I stand and, after straightening her covers where she'd been tossing and turning, I ask, "Is there anything that I can do to help?"

"You could sleep next to me."

'I thought she'd never ask' was my first thought. She shouldn't have bad dreams about my death if my warm body is close to hers. I don't want her to think that I'm trying to take advantage of the situation, so I lay down on top of the covers.

To my surprise, she rolls over, slips her arm around me and places her head on my chest. "Good night, Harm."

"Good night, Mac," I reply as I wrap my arm around her shoulders.

0645

MAC'S POV

I wake with my head resting on Harm's bare chest. I run my hand over the exposed muscles of his chest and abdomen, down to the waistband of his pajama pants, and my sense of touch confirms that his muscles are as firm and toned as they look.

I lift my head and place a kiss on his chest, and then another and another. It felt so natural to wake up this way that I hadn't given my actions a second thought until my kisses causes him to stir.

I look up to see that his eyes are open. "Good morning. Sleep well?" he asks with a cocked eyebrow.

"I did. It seems that sleeping close to you keeps the bad dreams away."

"Does that mean that we'll be sharing a bed more often?" he asks in a voice that's still husky with sleep.

"I hope so," I say before brushing my lips over his. "In fact, if you're awake enough to talk about it, we could discuss us not only sharing a bed, but sleeping together." I press my lips to his for a brief good morning kiss.

His eyes lock on mine. "I'm willing to do whatever you need to keep the bad dreams away," he says, his eyes dark and twinkling.

Things seem so right in the moment that part of me, I'm sure you can guess which part, is begging me to kiss him again and again, and for me to have my way with him right now, but I have to know if that's what he wants, too. Looking into his smoky eyes, I can't ask him, so I have to break eye contact before speaking.

"Harm, you and I both know from experience that no relationship lasts when only one side is getting what they want. So, tell me. What do you want, Harm?"

"I want you ... " he says as he pulls me down onto him " ... whenever you're ready."

"Then, what do you say to skipping that run that we'd planned and making love this morning instead?" I ask in a suggestive tone while trying to mimic his eyebrow waggle.

His face comes towards mine, and he asks in a whisper against my lips, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," I whisper back before our lips come together in a heated kiss.

THE NEXT MORNING

HARM'S POV

I wake up, and the warmth of her lying beside me makes my heart race and my body tingle. I kiss her forehead, and her eyelids flutter before they part for me to see her eyes.

"Did you have any bad dreams, last night?" I ask her.

"I had a dream, but it wasn't a bad one. I dreamed that I'd gone away to the islands for the weekend and that the man I was traveling with was in the Navy."

"Sounds romantic," I comment.

"It's sure turned out to be," she says before lifting her naked body from it's resting place next to mine and asking, "So what about that run this morning?"

"I think we can put that off another day," I say suggestively while waggling my eyebrows in that way that makes her smile.

"What did you have in mind?" she asks, trying to act like she doesn't have any idea of what I might be suggesting.

"I'll show you," I say, reaching for her.

*****

Mac never had trouble with bad dreams again. If she wasn't able to sleep in Harm's arms because duty interfered, her mind relived the first time they made love and the weekend on the islands instead.

THE END


End file.
